Fail

I failed miserably at my last attempt.

An attempt to do better

I was so excited when I started my blog. I was gonna make it awesome!!!  I have realized I suck at doing things on a daily basis. Also I think of these great things to blog about while I’m drunk, but when I wake up the next day I forget what I was thinking about.

Now you say “write it down”

Well I do write it down. The problem is what I write while drunk doesn’t make any sense to sober me. It is very confusing.

I end up with a page of notes in the morning going “what the hell was I thinking last night?” As a solution to that I thought maybe I should just get drunk every night and blog then. This has a couple of flaws though.

A.) I don’t need to be drunk every night

B.)  But mainly drunk me hates typing.

So I have been trying to figure out a new solution, I suppose I just have to write it all down rather then “key words” and maybe describe my feelings a little more so sober me can understand what mind frame drunk me was in.

Damn it, drunk me, for being more creative and less motivated!! why can’t we compromise?

No pain in vain

You know those creases you get on your hips when you have been sitting in jeans to long? And when you move the fabric and it hurts while your skin slowly reforms itself to the proper place…. Well today I am having that problem with my butt hole. I generally sleep naked but last night I was drunk and decided to fall asleep in my thong. When you pass out from a good night of drinking you  generally don’t move a lot throughout the night. And by the amount of pain my starfish is in I don’t think I moved for a good eight hours.. at least.  When I pulled my thong away from my booty I felt that pain and it has been haunting me all day. I don’t think there is many things more uncomfortable than this feeling. I mean who the hell wants a sore brown eye with out a good story to go along with it.

I guess that may be the premiss to this blog. To not let my pooper be in pain in vain.

Happy 24th Ashley

Yesterday was my best friend’s birthday. Ashley Boop Boozard. Although recently married I am not sure how I can make fun of her new name. So we will just stick with that for now.

Ashley is now 24 years old, married, a mom, owns a house, and a car. She got old really fast!! Although I never wish to live this white picket fence life. I am glad she has found something to make her happy.

The hat… I am made that for her. Explanation: “Who ever gets the lushiest gets to where the hat.”

A long running joke since we were 12 and drinking sparkling cider on new years eve imagining what it would be like to be at the bar with a bottle of champagne.

Either way, she was the lushiest so she got to wear the hat on her birthday!

Yay! I love you, Ashley

aka boo aka frenchie aka buzzkill

Dyerhyme

We left the Coast Thursday night and headed to my friend Jess’s house. Jess currently lives with his parents who, by the way, are awesome people. Their

Jess

house is quite a ways out in to the middle of nowhere. The foggy, twisted, dark, long road was not a pleasant drive at two in the morning.

It was late when we got there but this  wasn’t a big deal because they were on guard duty. It is getting close to harvesting time and a tweaker neighbor already stole a couple of branches off some of the plants. That did not make them happy, and I think in this family they would actually shoot the guy if he stepped foot on the property and they caught him.

I went to bed shortly after arriving I was tired from working all day at the Bachelor’s Inn and then driving the hour or so to get to Jess’s.  Although not before we cooked marshmallows on a weed branch and drank a PBR. The next day his mother made us a lovely dinner, the weather was surprisingly nice. Or maybe it really does rain more in Portland,  I am not really sure on this one yet.

I guess this place is worth mentioning for its quirky yet homey quality but I am not exactly sure how to explain it. You’ll just have to trust me.

Coos Bay Extended – Sand Vagina

While at the beach running the dog I got distracted by the large amount of sand that was below my feet. I decided to play in it. While my first attempt was to build a sand castle my dog decided that was where she wanted to dig too. That idea was quickly ruined. Luckily she also has a slight case of a.d.d. and got distracted by a piece of kelp.  So I was able to start on my new creation. The sand vag!!!!!!!!!!

Q: Does a sand Vag get sand crabs?

A: ? (please feel free to leave an answer because I really wanna know)

Coos Bay Extended – 80′s Butt Rock Face

…..because looking raunchy is hot!

While in Coos bay Doug and I got a little bored and decided to drive around find a secluded spot and drink some beers before I had to head to work at the Bachelor’s Inn.

We were sitting and laughing and taking dumb pictures of each other, when this one happened. I love it!!!

Doug is convinced that I should change my name, tease my hair, and only dance to 80′s music to portray an 80′s butt rock chick.  The idea is fun and funny but I dunno if I am that brave.

Coos Bay, Oregon

First I would like to say that this is a miserable little town. I am glad I don’t and will never live there.

The reason I was down there was because I was going to a wedding. I have been doing that  a lot this summer. This wedding was for one of Doug’s long time friend from Klamath Falls.  The wedding was pirate themed, that was fun.  It was on the beach at a light house.  It was small and we camped at Bullards Park for three days.

Saysha (my dog) had a grand ol’ time at the beach. For a dog that has a fear of the river. The ocean didn’t seem to bother her at all.  She even fetched sticks out of the on coming waves. Don’t worry they were small.

After camping was over Doug and I found a hotel. We stayed at The Mill Casino Hotel with help of the Bride and Groom. Because they go there often they had comps so we were able to get a nice room for half the cost. Since Doug and I don’t gamble we spent our time at the hotel  soaking in the hot tub and swimming in the pool. It was nice and relaxing.

I did work while I was down there. At the Bachelor’s Inn. It was an interesting experience. The girls were nice and so was the staff.  They open at four so I work from open to close the Four days I was there.  The money wasn’t the greatest but it wasn’t the worst either. They say the summers are usually very busy because of the tourists.  I guess I made it down a little to late and missed the rush.

I think I will be going back, maybe next summer.

Although my new hatred  for the town of Coos Bay may change my mind. We’ll see.

My Purse Contents

This Blog was inspired by a friend of mine at notanotherprincess.com with her blog what’s in YOUR wallet?

I read this post quite a while ago but I am just getting around to actually to posting my own.

Left is what was in my purse when I first read the blog four months ago.

 

the white paper is suppose to be my "phone" since I am using it to take the picture.

 

Right is what’s in my purse today.

Looks like I have become:

More organized.  (I acquired a billfold so all my cards and money and go in there instead of floating around.)

A more avid reader.

More of an alcoholic. (I now have two church keys and one of those doubles as a wine key.)

Also I seem to have lost an eyeliner and taken my Tylenol AM and stolen a pen.

Congrats Najah and John

If I learned anything from this wedding it’s that I will do it my way. No one will take over my day and if you don’t like it…. Go fuck yourself.

With that said, it was a very lovely wedding in a back yard. It is too bad it rained most of the time but it still turned out quite nice.  They were prepared for the rain and had those portable covers  that covered most of the yard.

Najah is Doug’s very good friend  from 10 or so years ago. She is a wonderful person and I am very happy to see her happy with the man that she choose.

Doug was hired to do the wedding photography. The day before the wedding he had said to me. “I hope I do not screw this up, I care for her so much and I want these pictures to be wonderful.”

Of course, it got screwed up. After the wedding while taking the group family shots and whatnot his sd card malfunctioned. I thought he was going to have a panic attack.  Luckily all the ceremony photos were saved and only the group shots were lost. Those are easily retaken. It only took like an hour and three or four guys to figure out how to salvage it.

Yay, for our luck only being grey and not pitch black.

Anyway, CONGRATS NAJAH AND JOHN!